"What is Happening to the Black Families?"


Man, this has been a trying couple of months, and just when you think that you can turn to family, u can't. I've heard people say over & over about how family members can sometimes be your worst enemies but, I never thought that I would be able to say "amen" to that but, I'm saying, "Amen, Amen & Amen."
Not only am I dealing with my own personal issues with some of my family members but it seems that everyone around me are having major issues & drama with family members as well. As I talked to an older woman about some of the issues I'm experiencing with my family, she began to share some stories about her family and she summed it up by saying, "I believe that alot of black families are just dysfunctional." WOW-dysfunctional...I would have never thought to use that word to describe my family but...she might be on to something. This year I realized just how important family is and I've come to the realization that family doesn't necessarily mean "the entire family" it could be just your immediate family; mother & father; sisters & brothers, etc...family doesn't have to mean the entire realm of aunts, uncles, distant cousins, etc. I had a family member tell me one day that I treat some of my friends better than my own family members. It kinda hurt my feelings but I thought about it, she was absolutely correct. But, some of my friends are closer to me than some of my family members. I can count on them before I can count on certain family members; they have my back without me worrying abou them trying to assasinate my character so, she was absolutely right. So, I'm left thinking about "what is happening to the black family," what happened to the days when no matter how crazy the world got, u could always count on family. Now it seems that families are breakingup at an alarming rate. BAckstabbing one another, disrespecting one another, not speaking, but as soon as someone dies, than family is left to be there for one another (even if only for a moment). I'm not a phony person and I have a hard time being fake when in actuality, I'm not feeling someone,or I'm just not happy. As this year is closing, I'm beginning to think how I want to start the new year(as far as family is concerned). DO I want to address the issues with family who I really want to disown or do I want to be the bigger person and try to rectify the problems? Then I think, what do I do with those family members who aren't where I am, who wants to continue to keep the drama going, how do I handle them? As the days pass, and more people are telling me about the issues they're experiencing in their family, I always have something to add to it, a new story to tell...some daily/weekly drama that has developed on the home front. But, I believe that this too shall pass & the sun will begin to shine on not only my family, but everyone else's who's experiencing drama in the black family. As my best friend Daryl said, "I must be doing something right, cause the devil is truly busy trying to bring my spirts down" but he can't win, not if I have anything to do with it.