Helping Myself + Helping Others...

Today is Friday and I'm so glad...a long weekend awaits me and not to mention I won't be back to work until next Thursday. Yep, I'm going to take some time off. I've been promising my grandmother that I would take her to the beach so she can see the sun rise & set and that's what I'm going to do. I booked a beachfront condo in Ocean City(I prefer Rehobeth but I couldn't find a room)for 3 days and I'm taking her, mommy, my Aunt Necce and Nina and my nephew Caden. We're going to leave on Sunday and enjoy some time away for 3 days. I'm looking forward to getting up early in the morning and taking a long walk on the boardwalk and playing with Nina in the sand. I plan to bring my writing material, a good book and some music...that's all I need. The trip put a small dent in my pocketbook but I know that my grandmother will never forget it and my mother and my aunt will be forever grateful that they were able to get away.

My mom has been laid off for over a year and the only income she has right now is the money that she gets for keeping Nina & my nephew Caden, but she's ok with it. She's been wanting to go somewhere but her fixed income hasn't allowed her to do so. My aunt has been dealing with a number of hardships in her life so I felt it would do her some good to get away as well. And my grandmother, very seldom gets the chance to do anything. So...4 generations, all getting away for the first time. I'm looking forward to the conversations and the laughs but most of all, the smiles on all their faces.

This trip is going to do me some good as well. I need to clear my head and getting away always does the trick. I know I'm going to be fine...actually, I feel fine already. Everything is a process and I know that it takes time.

Anger...Resentment...Forgiveness

I'm dealing with so much right now...but in the midst of this storm, God is still good. I know that getting rid of this anger is long overdue but, I thought I did. So now I'm here, walking around with this load of anger that has made me say & do a lot of things that I wish I could take back but...I can't. Most of it I meant to say...but a lot of it I didn't. I was told that you should never let a person or situation get the best of you where you end up acting out of character...well...I've been out of character for some time and I'm making this promise to myself that I'm going to do something about it. I am on a journey to releasing & forgiving...this is much needed and I'm ready.

First thing I plan to do is continue to pray...it always helps.
Second, I plan to journal...write out all the things that I'm hurt about, why and resolutions.
Third, I plan to seek out someone who is bias and can listen and help me put all of my feelings in perspective. I have plenty of close friends who will listen but because they care so much about me, I know it would be hard for them to put their feelings aside.
Fourth, I plan to make some changes in my life.
Fifth, I will work on forgiving so I won't continue being weighed down.
LAstly, I will start fresh to ensure that I NEVER allow myself to experience this type of hurt ever again.

This is so important because I love my life, I'm a happy person, very seldom do I allow things to get me down and most of all, I have another person to care for. If I'm not all together, how can I be the best mommy to Nina. I want her to experience her mommy at her best.

Today I start my journey...wish me luck!!