Wow...time sure does fly

I'm sitting here looking at my calendar and thinking, dag, December is almost over. This month has gone by so fast...it seems like I was just on vacation and that was over a month ago...wow. Well, December is here, the holidays are coming around and I must say that I'm finally getting in the spirit. I put my tree up last week and its beautiful. Mom came over and helped me decorate(she loves doing that). I didn't decorate as much as I normally do but the house still feels like Xmas. I got some shopping done, not much but I don't intend to do alot this year anyway. Me & my girl Nellie did some shopping last week(we picked up some things for ourselves too) and main man & I have been picking up a few things too. My sister & I hung out on Sunday and we picked up some gifts...I love my sister we had so much fun. We've always been close but it seems like the older we get, the closer we get. Today, I plan to go hit some stores to pick up a few things...I love giving gifts.
Last night, I started wrapping gifts so I feel like I'm moving right along. This is a short work week and than I'll be off for a few days. I'll get to enjoy the holidays and get some rest at the same time.

Today, I'm feeling good. So much better from the other day(what a difference a few days make).

Heavy....that's how I feel

Today is just one of those days...I'm feeling really heavy...like I'm carrying the world on my shoulders. I woke up this morning feeling "not so good" but I kept it moving and came on in to work. On my way to work, I stared out the window and began to think about all the things that are bothering me...it was kinda hard not to...just listening to my Ipod, its 5:30am, everyone on the bus is either sleeping, reading or doing what I'm doing(staring out the window thinking). Life can be so complicated at times...but I don't take living for granted....I'm blessed, it just happens to be one of those days.

I'm dealing with a variety of issues & matters, I've been just too busy to slow down and give those things some attention, but for some apparent reason, today is the day I decided to try to find some resolutions. So, I'm at work, its been a slow day, nothing really pressing and all I have is this time to think(I hate that about myself). I'm making conclusions to matters that I haven't even really dealt with, somethings I just want to be over. Then there are things that I need to happen in my life that just isn't happening...I need instant results, but I'm just not getting them. I know that I'm an impatient person and when I want something, I want it yesterday but I'm working on being patient(very hard for me).

I'm also dealing with how to deal with my emotions when it comes to certain matters. I'm a very emotional person, alot of people haven't seen this side but I'm overly emotional at times(and I hate it). I'm either over the top, crying, screaming...or to myself, quiet & withdrawn. So I'm working on trying to find a balance with my emotions. I'm also having trust issues. I find it so hard to put my trust in people, it seems that I get let down alot. I know that my expectations of others makes it that much harder for me to open up and relax, I'm working on this thing....I don't even trust myself sometimes(geeze).

I'm just heavy...there's so much going on that I need to address & handle...I've been so busy putting things aside until I found time to deal...I guess this is God's way of bringing things to light....I need to get ready to address & deal with these matters right now...but I don't feel like it but, I know I can't let them weigh me down any longer.

So Much to Be Thankful For....

Last week was Thanksgiving...and of course I was too busy to write what I was thankful for..but its never too late...I'm so thankful for so many things.
I'm thankful for life...for God granting me the opportunity to make it through this crazy world without cracking up. With all the horrible things going on in the world, I'm still so grateful for being in the land of the living.

I'm thankful for family...because without them I would be nothing. Family can be your best friends or your worst enemies but everyone who I consider family knows that they're everything to me and because of them...I am who I am.

I'm thankful for my friends, they know who they are. I love u guys...u r my extended family that I can truly say that you all compliment my life...you're always there for me for the good, bad, sad & chaotic times in my life. I don't know what life would be without u ladies...if I haven't ever said it before...I luv all of u guys...you're the best!!!

I'm thankful for Main Man...he has made such a difference in my life...I understand that 4-letter word foreal(lol). I'm thankful for his patience, criticism, companionship & most of all, his love for me. He's the best!!!

I'm thankful for having the activity of all my limbs, being healthy, all of my senses, common sense, high self-esteem, compassion, guts(u know people try to get over if they can), creativity(I'm always up to something)...I have so much to be thankful for...and even when things don't look positive, I'm still thankful.

My Wonderful Vacation-The ATLANTIS

I finally went on my vacation that I've been anxiously waiting to take..to The Atlantis(The Cove) in Paradise Island in Nassau, Bahamas. I had so much fun...it was wonderful. I flew First Class for the first time and I must say I'm totally hooked. Although its expensive, I think that it will be the only way I'll fly if I'm going out of the country. The weather was absolutely beautiful It wasn't real hot but it wasn't cold either(somewhere in the 80's). It was refreshing to get a chance to wear flip-flops & sundresses one more time. The hotel (The Cove) was picture perfect. The pictures/Internet didn't do the hotel any justice, it was simply beautiful. Our suite had a beautiful view of the island...we could see the pools, the other hotels, bridges, etc...breathtaking. Main man and I had the best time...shopping, swimming, drinking, gambling(yes, I won too) and eating(the food was incredible). We went into the city and shopped(the prices at Gucci, Fendi, Cartier etc were the best), we went to the Straw Market (the prices for souvenirs on the resort were too expensive). We did so much in those 4 days...it was a vacation that I will never forget.

The funniest part of the vacation is that everyone thought I was Bahamian. I was asked all day where I was from because I was told that I looked like I was from the islands(lol). What was ironic was that I found out that Davis is a Bahamian name. I was told that the Davis's have alot of land in the Bahamas so I think I need to trace my family background so I can see if I have some cousins that I can link up with(lol). The people were so friendly and I learned that that's just Bahamian culture(we need to adopt that culture here in the US).

The food...I've never ate that well ever...Main man and I dined in the finest restaurant every night...I'm talking gourmet, fine cuisine...we were doing it. The food was so fresh and so-ooo good.

We did so much in the time that we were there, and just spending time with one another was good. The both of us lead very busy lifestyles so this vacation was right on time.

to be continued........(with pictures)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!

Yesterday was my birthday...I still can't believe that I'm 36 years old...but I don't look a day over 26(lol). But yesterday was a great day. It started with me receiving all kinds of messages, emails, cards, etc...from friends & family(even people I haven't heard from in years). Its always nice to know that people care about me and that they remember my birthday. My sister & mom took me out last for dinner and that was really good...we hardly ever get a chance to spend time together(just the 3 of us) with all of us being so busy with work, school & our personal lives...so that was a highlight of my birthday. Main man came through with my favorite flowers(calla lilies) and some really nice birthday cards...it was just a nice, chill day. I had a few lunch invites but I decided to walk to the bookstore to pick up a few books and I just grabbed something to eat....for some reason I wanted to spend time with myself...and that's always good.

The older I get, I find more inner piece...its something I can't explain. I love being in the company of family & friends but I find that I love spending time with myself...I love me(lol). I'm so blessed...I know it...I feel it...and I thank God for it. I'm at a point in my life where I can finally pat myself on the back...I've accomplished so much in these 36 years and there's still so much to do. Everyday I'm processing life...trying to find ways to keep smiling, to stay focused and to become a better person.

I'm so grateful that God has granted me another year...that means he has more work for me to do, more lives for me to impact, more time to self-improve, more trips to take, more laughs with the girls, more time with family & most of all, more time for ME!!!!

My birthday was wonderful...it was day to celebrate me and I did just that. This Sunday, I'll be off to the Bahamas for vacation...more celebrating. I'm looking forward to having fun but overall, I need some rest & relaxation. I've been rippin' & runnin' for a minute and I need to gather my thoughts and kick back. This trip is an additional birthday gift...and I can't wait.

Just Writing....

Well...I have so much going on right now, nothing serious...just being the busy lady that I am. I have 11 more days until I leave for my vacation to the Bahamas. I'm so excited about being on the beach and chilling at the Atlantis. This will also be my first time flying First Class so I'm looking forward to it. Main man & I were out on Monday trying to take care of some last minute things for the trip like getting our license renewed, putting clothes in the cleaners, him getting pants tailored, etc...we're ready...we need this vacation.

I decided that I'm going to wait on building a new house. I was excited about getting it, but I gave it some thought and I'm living very comfortably right now and I don't need a higher mortgage note right now, plus, my house is more than enough for me right now. So, I decided to get my kitchen done over and some other small things just to satisfy my need for change(lol). I'm also considering getting my BMW X5 or my Lexus GS300...not sure yet...

I've been doing alot of baking, my cakes are a hit right now. Everyone that I've made so far has got rave reviews and I'm receiving requests for cake orders already. Now that I'm in the "cake making business" everytime I taste a cake, I'm comparing it to mine(lol)...and I must say I do my thing when it comes to baking cakes.

My birthday is next week...I don't have any concrete plans. Just being able to see another year is fine with me. Maybe the girls & I may get together for something to eat(we love to eat) and some laughs...that's about it and actually, that's perfect.

Life is cool right now...still on my grind, trying to be successful, trying to be a better person,trying to grow closer to God....

I want to go shopping...its that time of year for some new fly boots and some cute sweaters. I guess I'll wait until I get back from vacation. I'm addicted to shopping on-line(something I thought I would never do), I love it.

It's a time for everything

My father called me the other day...he was talking to me like he's been in my life forever...needless to say, he hasn't really been in my life foreal. I've known him all my life, he's done a few things for me while growing up, but was he really a Daddy...nah, he really wasn't. All my life, I always felt like I was a Daddy's girl...but only if I had one. I always longed for a relationship with him, to be able to call him and tell him about the knucklehead men I've dealt with, to try and get some advice on growing up, someone to teach me what to expect from a man...just simple things(at least I think so). But needless to say, he never stepped up to do the little things, so the big things(like helping me select my first car, showing me how change oil or a flat tire, giving me some advice on purchasing my first home...) I never even thought about asking him about.

He showed up for my high school graduation, called when I made big accomplishments in my life(after hearing it from someone else), and oh yeah, when I got in a terrible car accident & almost died back in 1989...he called to Shock Trauma and acted a fool with the doctors cause he wanted to know how his child was...WOW!!! So again, my father has been in & out of my life for all of my 35 years...and at times he's goes missing in action for a few years but lately, he's been reaching out for a relationship. What do I do now?

He's sick right now, I hear that he's sicker than he's letting on but let him tell it, he's just fine so...I go with his story. Now he wants to talk, spend time, take family pictures and finally come to see the house that I purchased all by myself...without a Daddy to lead me and pat me on the back and say, "you're doing good." I thought I would be bitter with him, but in actuality, I feel sorry for him. He missed out on alot...he has so much catching up to do...I don't know if he'll have time. I wish he wouldn't have let so much time get away from us...now we have to deal with the awkwardness when we're around one another, the silence over the phone when there's nothing else to talk about...hmn...

He knows nothing about me...meaning the little things like, my favorite color, my favorite food, my majors in college, what makes me happy, what makes me sad and I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't know my birthday...this is deep. So, I say this today...I love my father, I don't know if he loves me....he says he does...I guess I believe him...he's trying, so I'm not going to knock him over the head for all the times he made me promises that he never kept, or allowing my mother to raise me by herself or letting me learn about men the hard way...nah, I'm not mad...I just feel sorry for him. But a little of me is excited about possibly being able to sit down with this man and tell him all about his oldest daughter...the one who always wished to be a Daddy's girl...

Baker, Hairdresser & Nurse..what a weekend.

This weekend was a busy yet chill weekend. It started with me baking 3 cakes for 3 different people's birthday(Tamia, Chris & Ganny). I also did my usual...hair for most of Saturday. I impressed myself with my multi-tasking skills...I was working it out.

Main man was sick all weekend. I still don't know if he's trying to get the flu or if he's just dealing with what everyone else is complaining about...just not feeling well due to this inconsistent weather...anyhoo...I had to go into nurse mode for main man. It must be love...he had me up late Saturday night making homemade chicken & rice soup. That's what he wanted, so I was up boiling chicken, cutting up carrots, celery onions...pulling out the seasons & bouillon and even made some biscuits(not from scratch). He needed extra attention this weekend...taking his temperature, hugs, getting orange juice, hugs, rubbing his back, hugs....I was extra busy...lol.

Sunday, was my Ganny's birthday. The family got together for dinner at her house and it turned out pretty nice. Like with every family...mine has been dealing with drama for the last year so all Ganny wanted was her family together in one happy setting...and that's what she got. I'm happy that things turned out the way it did.

Monday, main man & I slept in late...I ran some errands and then we went to see the movie, "Why Did I get Married" all I can say is Tyler Perry did it this time. Extra, extra shout-outs to my man Tyler Perry for putting together such a wonderful movie...definitely a great conversation piece.

So the weekend was cool....can't wait for vacation to get here...26 days to go....Atlantis...here I come.

Watch Out Betty Crocker...

On Monday, I took my first Cake Decorating class. I am so excited about this class because I love to bake cakes and lately everyone has been requesting a cake from me so...I thought...why not take a class, learn how to decorate and get a side business going(yes I'm a Jamaican). Baking the cakes are easy(and yes all my cakes tastes good), but I wanted to feel more comfortable about decorating, especially when I'm making cakes for other people.

I've been looking into these classes for sometime now and I thought I would never find the time but I made up my mind and I went for it. So...on last Monday, I was taking my first Wilton cake decorating class and I'm anxious about returning next week. I learned how to make flowers, animals and a variety of different decorations with icing. So with all the birthdays & holidays coming, I know I'm going to be very busy. Now, all I need is a cute name for my business. Watch out Betty Crocker!!!!

THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY-TGIF!!!!!

I can truly say that I'm so happy to see Friday finally arrive. This week has been a full one for me. The beginning of the week I had training therefore, I didn't get home until after 6pm. Then I return to work this week to find out that my unit is not moving(I was so looking forward to moving to a new office) and I've been working non-stop since I returned to work on Thursday. I've also been struggling with headaches since last week. My doctor seems to think I'm having migraines but I don't know what's really going on.

I'm looking forward to my long weekend. Tomorrow I plan to clean my house, wash clothes and do some shopping for some drapes. I also start my cake decorating class on Monday so I'm so looking forward to it. Other than that, I'm just glad today is Friday....I'm blessed, I'm happy, I'm tired....

What u Won't Do....4 Love...WOW!!!

How is it that not even 24 hours ago, main man and I are at one another's throat, fussing, not agreeing on anything, pointing the finger and contemplating whether we want to continue this relationship....and now we're just talking, agreeing & loving one another(lol). Its funny how he can just piss me off to know end and I can picture my life without him, being single again, running foot loose & free and then I think of all the work I put into this union and all the wonderful things he does for me and how he's done a 320(not quite 360)in the time that we've met and all I can do is just push harder to make peace between us.

There was a time in my life when I would just let go, just so I wouldn't have to deal with the bulls*it that comes with relationships...but I know that nothing and nobody is perfect(not even little ole' me) and with maturity, I've learned that if I continue to give up...I will never learn the lesson in the battle, and if I continue to say f*ck it I might never find the love that I desire, and if I continue to act like nothing bothers me(as it pertains to relationships) how will my mate ever know that I really do care for him and that the relationship means something to me...so as I sit here and think about what main man & I were arguing over yesterday and I ask myself..."Was it really that serious?" I'm glad that I'm a soldier in this game called love...I'm willing to fight for it, and I'm even willing to say "I'm wrong" or "I apologize" even when I don't want too.

So, I say this with a smile on my face & love in my heart for main man...he puts up with me...whew....I'm not the easiest person to deal with, especially when it comes to relationships but I guess if its love...and u know its love...there's nothing you wouldn't or shouldn't do for it!!!!

Today started off wrong...I mean, I didn't feel like getting up to go to work, but when the alarm went off at 4am...I just kept it moving. After pulling off, I realized I didn't have my badge, so I turn around and go back home...and I couldn't find it. Once I got back in my car, I saw it tucked down deep in my side pocket of my purse. I got to the stop late, went to sleep on the bus and once I got off to walk in my building....my badge was gone...I had lost it. I had to use my creds to get a temporary badge that didn't work once I got to my office(it gets better) so I had to get my supervisor to come and let me in and I had to borrow his mailbox key to lock up my phones....rough morning. Overall, I contacted the bus company and they found my badge on the bus...whew....

Anyway, the weekend was cool. Had my cookout on Saturday and it turned out to be alot of fun once again. It wasn't packed as last year(thank god) so the crowd was a chill bunch. We sat around, ate, drank & had some interesting conversation. The weather wasn't too hot so everyone was comfortably chilling.

On Sunday, I slept in until noon...cleaned up and took another nap. Main man & I went to get something to eat(I refused to cook) at Panera and came home & watched a movie until I fell asleep. So...the weekend was cool....but now I'm tired as hell...hopefully my day will get better...

LABOR DAY WEEKEND @ DEEP CREEK LAKE

Over the weekend, a group of friends(some of us meeting for the first time) went to Deep Creek Lake for the weekend. We had a wonderful time. Our 9 bedroom, 7.5 bathroom home was large enough for all of us. The house sat 25 ft from the lake, had an indoor pool, 2 hot tubs and a game room. We stayed 3 nights and none of us wanted to leave.

Some of the ladies on the main deck of the house.

Some of fellas chilling on the deck.

We all had a great time...shooting pool, cooking out, playing games & jet skiing.

The weekend was cool...a nice getaway was what we all needed....I'm sure we'll be doing it again real soon.

Today is one of those days where I feel like nobody understands me. I'm dealing with some heavy personal issues right now and I don't feel like I can express it to anyone...I just don't think anyone would understand. Its a long weekend for me, I'm going out of town and I should be excited...but everything else around me is distracting me from looking forward to this 3 day getaway.

Today, I want to just pack up my things, sell my house and move to another state. I think if I do that, I can escape some of the issues that I'm dealing with. Why don't people realize that I can't save everybody...sometimes I can't save my damn self. Its enough work dealing with myself and all my crap...but to deal with others crap is just too much sometimes.

People that I love are hurting & confused...I'm trying to help them to heal but in the process, I'm feeling down...I know I can't save the world but I hate to see people that I love hurt and/or do stupid things.

Today is just not a good day but I swear that I'm going to do everything to make it better. I'm challenging myself to come out of this funk by noon today.

"Everyday I'm Hustling.........."

Whoa...this weekend was one of those weekends when I agree with my girls when they call me the lil' Jamaican...I was on my grind this weekend. The kids go back to school this week and I was busy doing hair all weekend. I had a few hours to get myself together but for the most part I was hustling. Friday I didn't make it to work therefore I had the opportunity to get an early start. Saturday morning, I was up early gettin' it in and didn't finish until late that evening. Sunday morning, I was back at it again...getting all the kiddies done for the first day of school(I don't normally work on the Lord's day).
Although I was tired, I went to the movies with main man on Saturday. I don't understand why everything he picks to see at the movies has to be alot of shooting & killing(WTF). We went to D&B for some food & drinks afterwards. On Sunday, mom & Ganny came over for a bit, along with sister. Main man wanted dinner, so I hooked that up and then we went to TCBY for dessert(yep, we drove all the way to Columbia for frozen yogurt). He was supposed to hang out with the fellas but I guess he had second thoughts and wanted to chill with mama for the day(isn't that sweet).
So...the weekend was cool...very busy but its just one of those things. That's the story of my life...hustling & grinding...somebody's gotta do it.

"Faith....its something about that word"

On Sunday evening, main man had an emergency at his job that he had to handle and I end up riding with him why he handled the situation. While waiting in the lobby for him, I end up having a conversation with the concierge at the front desk. He was a foreigner and we began just chatting about things that were going on in the world and how God is sending signs to let the world know he's on his way back. Well...to make a long story short, he began telling me how he was raised a Muslim but heard the voice of God at a very young age. He kept this from his parents who were Muslims cause he knew they would condemn him. Late one night he responded to the voice by praying and giving God thanks and his mother overheard, who in turn told his father. His father chastised him and told him that he had heard that he had become a christian and he put him out of the house(he was only 13). This started years of doors being closed in his face and being homeless because his family had threatened anyone who took him in...but through it all, this young boy never denied his faith and what he believed in, he stood firm. Years later, he finally made it to this country through a missionary who brought his story to the State Department, and he ended up coming to this country. He struggled once he got here, not having any skills or speaking little English but people who saw the God in him and knew that he stood firm in his beliefs looked out for him and gave him opportunities that he would've never imagined.
Today, this grown man is doing well, God has sent him a wife who he's anxiously waiting to get to the US by the end of the year, he has 2 well paying jobs and most of all, he's still a soldier for the Lord...his belief is stronger than ever. He expressed to me that it was only God that helped him to make it through all the homelessness, the betrayal from his family, the threats from his country, the odd jobs that he had to take just to support himself & most of all, getting him here to the US....a true example of a person who remained faithful to God in spite of adversity.

This encounter with this man touched me so much...I was so glad to have had the opportunity to speak with him because it made me search deep within. I know that God is who he is and I know my faith has been tested on numerous occasions but, talking to this man made me realize that if he could go through all that he did and still be able to trust God...I know that when things get rough for me & I begin to wonder, "where are u God" if I just continue to pray, and not give up on him and just stand still...I know that I will hear from him and he will come through for me...he always does. Not that I ever doubted him..but just to hear a testimony such as this man's confirmed once again that God is who he said he is...and I'm so glad to be a child of his because I know that without him, I'm nothing. My faith is sometimes tested but I will NEVER stop trusting & believing in him...no matter what.

Nothing Special...Just thankful for a long weekend.

This weekend was cool...didn't do too much but I'm still very tired. I was off on Friday since I had to come in on my day off for a presentation. I returned to work last week from being off for 6 days (conference in Florida) and my work week was super busy. I received 2 awards last week at work(I'm so proud of me). Thursday evening, I went to pickup god-daughter #2(Ahteona) so she could spend the night with me...I was so happy to see her, and from the big smile on her face, she was happy to see me too. We came back to the house & chilled, I did her hair and she just kicked back. She is so pretty(just like her mom Keya) and so well mannered. My girl Keya has raised her well. Friday, we hing out, took her to the mall and bought her a few things (she wasn't expecting that) and then later that evening, I had to take her back to her Dad(she was upset). It made my heart heavy that she didn't want to go but I was a little tickled that she wanted to stay with me...I guess I still get cool points for being a great godmommy/auntie.
My Saturday was back to normal, doing hair all day. I chilled for the remainder of the evening and had planned to have a very quiet, evening alone until...main man came down and he decided once he got to the house that he didn't want to hang out with his boys...so...
Got up Sunday morning and didn't make churhc so I decided to pick up godaughter #3(Myriah). She's been trying to get me to pickup her up and do something so I scooped her and we went to brunch(Jaspers) and shopping(once again, in the stores). I had a good time with her and I know that's all she wanted was some attention from her godmother since I've been so busy. I had to go in Mommy mode with her and school her about somethings(I hate being a disciplinary) but we got it together and Ms, Lady is going to be fine.
Came home, cooked dinner(it was so good) and did somethings around the house. Main man was starving prior to coming to the house(he always says that) so he ate dinner like it was his last supper(he thinks I'm the best cook) and we kicked back. My sister came over(I love her so-ooo much) and the 3 of us talked a little, and then her & I went to see Mom & Ganny.
To top the weekend off, main man & I went and had ice cream and sat outside & ate it(that was so cute) and just talked. I haven't worked a full week in almost 3 weeks so I turned in early so I could get ready for today.....nothing exciting, but thank god for the weekends.

BRICKS....Keep Em' Coming

WOW....today has been one of those days...so much going on and every time I think I've heard enough, something else happens. Each time I'm confronted with something, its like another brick being laid...I feel like someone is building a house on top of me...I'm heavy.
After returning from a wonderful 6 days in Florida(that blog is coming soon), I find out that my grandmother & mother both had been hospitalized. Both of them were confined to the bed for different reasons but the bottom line, the both of them weren't feeling well. So I automatically go into over-drive to make sure the both of them are comfortable & getting back to their normal selves. Then I turn around and get some bad news about my father being VERY ill(that's another blog)...now I'm wondering, what am I to do? Am I to step up and try to be there for him after almost 35 years of my life, him not really being there for me(heavy stuff...)? Then, I find that family members are ungrateful, selfish, ghetto, ignorant...some people no matter what, just don't see a reason to change for the better. Then...everyone seems to think I have Bank of America taped to my forehead...WOW...I do have my own bills, and personal things that I need MY money for. I don't work 40 hours a week for everyone else's issues(whoa...). And...my house isn't clean...I've been home for almost a 5 days now and I can't seem to get motivated to clean my house...wash clothes & unpack my suitcase. My car has to go in the shop on Friday and that's about $800-$900 dollars to get a major service done...like I said, I'm heavy.
I'm getting off from work to go to the dentist to get my crown ($750) put on, I have some errands to run when I really just want to go home...oh, by the way, its 102 degrees outside today.....bricks...major bricks being laid on me today...but I'm going to be ok....and this too shall pass.

Tag...I'm It!!!!

Thanks to my lil' sis, "It Is What It Is" I've been officially tagged. I've been ordered to list eight random facts/habits about myself, post them and choose eight people to tag so they can do the same. Well...none of my friends blog and the people who introduced me to this blog world (It Is What it Is and Golden Time of Day) have already been tagged. So, I'm just going to tag myself. Here it goes:

1. Salad is my favorite food.
I eat salad at least once a day. People always think I'm dieting because I'm always eating a salad, but that's not the case, I just love salad.

2. I smell everything.
I have this weird habit of smelling everything, especially food. If it doesn't smell right, I'm not eating it. By the way, I love the smell of gasoline(lol).

3. I have an alter-ego.
Only a select few people have had the opportunity to come in contact with her. She's that other person that lives inside of me who I sometimes blame for the behavior that I(Michyle) would never have the guts to do.

4. I'm claustrophobic
I've being struggling with this phobia since I was a kid. I'm trying to work my way through it and I think I'm getting there. I have the biggest fear of elevators, tunnels & any closed in places.

5. I'm in love with a thug
I'm in love with Lil' Wayne...that's my thug crush. I've had a crush on him ever since he was 14 singing, "The Block is Hot" and now that he's legal, I would love to bump into him so I can just whisper, "The Baby" in his ear(lol).

6. My favorite color is Yellow .

7. I love to write
I write poetry & short stories. One of my poems actually was published. One day I plan to slow down and do something with all the things I've wrote over the years instead of letting them sit in my folder and collect dust. I also use to be a freelance writer for a local newspaper.

8. I'm a restaurant connoisseur
I love to go out to nice restaurants and there aren't too many that I haven't experienced. Most of friends & family come to me to recommend a nice place to eat. I use to be a part-time restaurant reviewer.

"I'm Feeling Real Good about my Life-Today"

Well...what can I say, today's a good day. The sun is shining, the weather is just right, I got money in the bank, fly clothes in the closet, food in the fridge, friends who love me, family who support me, a wonderful relationship with God, I'm stable, I'm not on drugs, I got a good job, I'm in shape...I feel good, I look good....life is good.

I woke up this morning, refreshed...with a better attitude, seeing life in a whole new light...I'm alright today. Last night, after coming from the gym, I got a chance to lay back & just reflect on some of the things I've been dealing with and I had to come to the realization that no matter what I go through in life, it can't be so bad. Its up to me to decide if I want to deal with certain things & people, if I want to tackle obstacles & hurdles or just be, if I want to hear peoples problems or do I want to work on my own, do I want to try to impress people or just be the best person I can be...its all up to me.

So, today, I decided to be happy-go-lucky me. I'm smiling cause it makes me look prettier, I'm strutting because it enhances my swagger, I'm speaking positive things because when I speak it-it happens, I'm cherishing every minute of life because tomorrow's not promised and I'm just going to keep on being the best me I can.

Spoiled...Selfish..Self-Centered...call it what u want, that's just ME!!!

I'm dealing with an issue where I think I need to check myself, but right now, I just don't want too. What's wrong with me wanting what I want, when I want it, how I want it and under any circumstances that I want? Yep...I have this rotten spoiled little girl that lives inside of me who acts out when things don't go my way...basically I'm having a damn tantrum right now.

I just read my horoscope for the day and it clearly states, "You can't expect to have everything you want-especially not all at the same time. Like it or not, you'll have to pick and choose." That is a prophetic word straight from the stars & planets-whateva.

I'm so used to having things my way...I know that its very wrong for me to think the world revolves around me and that my problems & situations should be dealt with immediately and in the best interest of ME but so what...that's how I'm feeling right now....WHY CAN"T THINGS GO MY WAY?

A friend of mine has told me that I need to "pause" and think about whether its best for me to have my way right now, will it benefit me and others around me if I get my way and will the outcome of me getting my way be in the best interest of ME in the future. I'm so not in the future right now...I'm in my feelings and I'm in the right now...so.....I'm throwing a mental tantrum right now and I need to be checked(lol).

I'm sure after I throw this tantrum and turn back into an adult within the next few hours...I'll see the reality of the current situation that has me acting out. But that's what I do....I'm spoiled...I'm rotten....and guess what....I'll get over it. I always do.

A Real Chill Weekend

I'm just returning back to work from being off for 6 days straight(including the weekend) and I must say that was just what the doctor ordered. After a very uneventful Independence Day, I decided that a few extras days off wouldn't hurt so, I did just that...took off. I took care of alot of business that I wouldn't normally get a chance to do and I just chilled...alot of rest for this chick.

Friday night, my girl Tiff & I stepped out for some drinks and something to eat. We hung out with some of the craziest fellas I know(D, Fi & Slaught). I must say that I'm glad I decided to get up and do something...its been a long time since I hung out and I must say, that whiskey sour was long overdue. I would've had another one if I wasn't driving(I'm so responsible).

Saturday was a slow morning cause I was on my grind(momma gotta make them $$) but shortly after, I slept like most of the day(I still can't believe it). Main man came over and we decide to do a late dinner at Maggiano's. He requested his momma in a cute sundress so I did that for him and he put on a little grown & sexy attire and we hit the town...the evening was very nice.

Sunday morning, I over slept so I didn't make it to church. I got a phone call early that morning from a friend who I end up talking with for about an hour or more. I must say that conversation was what I needed. Its always good to have a very "open" convo with someone who you care alot about. I end up running some errands in the hot sun and came home and again, I chilled(sounds kinda boring the more I say it).

Monday, my regular day was filled with alot of running around. The dentist, cleaners, bank and to get my passport(Atlantis here I come). The remainder of the day was filled with getting things done around the house....oh, and the gym of course(gotta get it right for the 2-piece in 2 weeks).
So...my very long weekend was very-very chill. A few exciting things in-between my chill time so overall...it was a good weekend. When I got to work today everyone said that I sound & look so energetic(I should) so to wrap this all up, the rest & chill time did the body good.
And the next holiday is when?

I Know He loves Me....

This man...umn...I know its love. I recognize it everytime I say I want to give up but I fight to keep it together. Relationships can be such a strain...and being that I have been in enough of them to recognize..I know that this one is very different.
The way he looks at me when I piss him off makes me cringe, but his tone when he says he loves me makes me know that everything is going to be ok. Why can't I just accept that he really loves me without complicating things? I know I'm spoiled but I'm truly learning that things aren't always going to go my way and that I'm not always right(that's hard).
So today is one of many days where I'm blessed to have him in my life...I must say that its been so much sweeter with him in it. I can be me...with all the good & bad that comes with me. I can be stuck-up, ghetto, loud, quiet, emotional, excited...he accepts all of me and I'm blessed.
Maybe I need to start telling him more that I appreciate him for all he's done for me, himself & us. My...the changes that he's made, the transformation, all for the sake of love...him loving me.
I know he adores me, I know he loves me and for that alone, I need to tell him that I appreciate him.
Yep, that's what I'll do.

"I Crack My Own Self Up"


The funniest thing happened to me yesterday. I was packing up my things to leave the building to go home. I must've got side-tracked from talking to my co-worker on the way out but anyway, as I was going down the steps I realized I really had to go to the bathroom and I only had 8 minutes to walk & catch my bus. The last thing I wanted to do was hold my urine on my 45 minute commute home. I rushed to the 1st floor and I realized everyone was going in the opposite direction that I'm used to walking....but anyway, to the bathroom was all I was concerned about. I run into the bathroom, put my bag down and run into the stall. I begin to use the bathroom and I happen to look towards the floor and to to my surprise, in the next stall I spot men's shoes....WTF!!!! I immediately go into panic mode....and I'm thinking, I know a man is not in the women's bathroom. Then I began to wonder, maybe I'm in the men's bathroom. I noticed when I ran into the restroom that it looked slightly different from the one on my floor but with all the remodeling going on in my building, that wouldn't be strange.

Well, to my surprise, I was in fact in the men's restroom-WOW!!! I immediately panicked. I cut what I was doing short, pants weren't even zipped up, I opened the door & grabbed my bag & made a dash for the door. I looked both ways (to make sure I didn't bump into any men), made a dash to the women's bathroom to finish. The funny thing is...I wasn't even embarrassed. All I could do is shake my head and laugh at myself...that was too funny.

I'm Trying to be Nice......

My boyfriend has this saying that he always says to me when I'm ready to do or say something really foul. "Be Nice" is what he tells me and sometimes I change my attitude but other times I say, "I don't want to be nice." Well...today is one of those days...ignorant people have caused me to want to say nasty things, be nasty, basically, I want to slap someone. I sometimes wonder why the devil is so busy, especially a day like today(I don't do Mondays). I wonder why people do some of the things that they do....like intentionally hurt someone's feelings.

This morning I was faced with a dilemma. A person who I love dearly has been going through some turmoil with people whom she thought loved & cared about her but she recently found out that they're assasinating her daily. I'm a person who loves & loves hard. When someone close to me is hurting, I hurt. Today she's discoverd that someone very close to her is trying to break her down and along with that person, others have joined in to help. I know that all of those people are miserable(only miserable people set out to intentionally hurt someone) so I try to keep that in my brain but when I see her hurting the way she is, it makes me want react.

Now, if I react, I will have to suffer some extreme consequences and I'm not sure if these people are worth it. Now, the person that I love & her well-being is worth it, but these animals who are trying to destroy aren't. I don't want to give them the glory of knowing that they have won.

Why do ignorant people feel that they've gained the victory when they hurt people? Why don't they feel bad for the choices they've made? Why don't they feel remorse when they see the hurt in the person's eyes that they've attacked? Why don't they reverse the situation and think about how they would feel if someone were to do the same thing to them? Why can't they just be nice?

I've been in prayer all morning. I tossed & turned all night long. I woke up around 2:30am and couldn't get back to sleep. Was this God's way of preparing me for what was to come this morning? I couldn't even sleep this morning on my commute to work because I was struggling with an angel on my right shoulder & the devil on my left. The devil was telling me to start making some phone calls to curse some folks out, do some visiting to smack some folk and think of some ways to hurt these people. On the other hand, the angel was telling me to continue doing what I was doing, praying, being there for that person who's hurting & remain silent. I don't want the devil to win, I never want him to get his way so.....I guess I have no choice but to BE NICE!!!!

"Another Wonderful Trip to NYC"

Last Sunday, I hosted another bus trip to NYC to see The Color Purple on Broadway. The first time (March 06') was good, but this time, it was awesome. Fantasia was Celie and she played this role like it was made for her. The weather was nice, the bus was filled with very pleasant people and the day just went well.

We started out in Harlem where we had a chance to do some shopping and to eat lunch at Amy Ruth's. The food was so-ooo good. I can't wait to go back to Harlem because I've always wanted to visit and now that I've gone, I know I need to go back to shop, sightsee & most of all, to eat at Amy Ruth's.








Amy Ruth's Home Style Southern Cuisine

113 West 116th Street, Harlem, NY






The play was spectacular. Fantasia was the star of this show. I'm really happy for her because alot of people doubted her ability to perform this role and she's proving those negative people wrong. "GO TASIA"


Fantasia...this role was made for you girl.....you really had the tears flowing.

Fantasia finishing the show up...ENCORE!!! There was supposed to be no cameras in the theatre....u know black folks don't listen(lol).

The day was perfect, I couldn't have asked for better weather, better food or better people to participate. Another perfect day in New York City, can't wait to go back.

"Sometimes, Chilling is what the body needs"

Yesterday, I returned to work from a very long holiday weekend. I was in class for 2 days last week and the remainder of the time, I was off. I must say that the long weekend was just what I needed. My man and I had planned to do a variety of things, which included going out of town but that never happened. We had been discussing just getting away for the last month or more, but once the weekend got here, we end up just chilling the whole weekend-except for Monday). The both of us are on our grind right now so any free time we can get is always welcomed.
Friday-Sunday was just TV, eating, sleeping....we did a few things around the house but overall, just chilling. I started getting crazy by Sunday evening and I was getting cabin fever so...Monday, we decided to get out and do something. That day started with a trip to Wiconsin Avenue(Gucci, Jimmy Choo, Ralph Lauren, Banana Republic....) and then we went to Georgetown(I'm so bored with this place right now) and then to Alexandria, VA(reminds me alot of downtown Annapolis). We had dinner at the Chart House and just did the boyfriend/girlfriend thing-lol. The evening ws summed up with a trip to Cold Stone Creamery and bed. I was
T-I-R-E-D.
Tuesday was another chill day. Just some cleaning up and chilling. I realized that I hadn't gone to not one cookout or for that matter, I didn't even have one so, I decided to put some food ont he grill on Tuesday.
I returned to work yesterday with a pile of work on my desk. I sat and thought about how I was appreciative of the chill time I had over the weekend because I was well rested. Everyone returned to work with all the stories of what they did over the holiday. All I could really say was, I chilled...but that's ok with me, because I realize now that I really needed it.

"Another Reason to Smile"

Anyone who knows me know that smiling to me is ne of the greatest gifts. Smiling makes me feel good and a laugh behind that smile is always a plus. SO I say that to say, I'm always finding reasons to smile about something, its so important.
Last weekend, the girls and I gathered together at my house for some food, laughs & most of all, just playing "catch up." Its always good to be with them girls because its never a dull moment. We've been trying to get together for awhile now but with everyone so busy with kids, school, work, relationships, etc....we just haven't been able to come together. Although all of us weren't there, we had a grand time. The menu wasn't planned, everyone just bought some drinks, chips...and me & Tarita prepared the food. I must admit, my girl Tarita came through with the infamous beans and her macaroni salad(requested by Tiny) and I hooked up my famous turkey burgers and put some hotdogs & sausage on the grill. Nothing fancy, just something to put on our stomachs. Of course the fellas couldn't resist being in the building for a minute, but they immediately exited to the basment to watch the game. I was informed that our laughs & screams could be heard overtop of the surround sound...but so what, that's what we do.
Our entertainment for the evening was our good friend & #1fan "Leephis" he loves the girls...he always wants to be in our company. The conversation went from relationships, sex, celebrities, TV shows(Run's House)....but as always, he dominated the conversations and got on everyone's nerves. We love him.
The rain stopped us from chilling on the deck so the kitchen was the place to be. We laughed so much....I don't know what I would do without these girls(even the ones that were absent). Its always so refreshing to be in their company. We just put our cares aside and we open up and just do us. That's what friendship is all about.
Our plan is to try and get together at least once a month for a girls night out or in. I think we all need that, I know I do. Getting together with them is always an extra boost in my life...these girls are like my second family(yes, I'm being mushy). But it is what it is....the sistahood is what makes all of our lives so complete. We all are maturing, growing spirtually, financially...just making moves in all areas. I know that if we all didn't have the support of one another, this journey of life wouldn't be so easy.
So...I say to my girls....thanks for that impromptu get-together....I have one more reason to continue smiling.

Marriage???? Wedding???? Is it for Everybody????

A few weekends ago (April 28), one of my girlfriends got married. Smiley and I have been friends for about 15 years and I was honored to be her maid of honor. Out of all her friends and her 2 sisters, she asked me to be her right hand chick for the day and I was honored. Now, anyone who knows my girl Smiley aka Smoot knows her personality...and how we became & remained friends all these years(15+) is a mystery but that's what's so unique about us. Anyway..when my girl Smoot announced that she was getting married, I had 30 days to not only get myself together, but I had to assist her with getting this affair together. My question to her first was, "what's the rush" and my second question was, "are you sure you're ready" when she answered, I knew she was ready to make the transition from "single to...as Ms. Celie put it, I's married now."

Needless to say, we managed to get her dress, shoes, alterations, etc...in 4 hours. Smiley knows I love her to death because on my day off, I sat the whole day aside just for her...and everyone knows how I feel about sharing my time on my RDO. Next, it was a number of small things that had to take place to ensure that her wedding day was perfect, and I must agree, it was. I watched as my girl & her finace put a beautiful affair together on a small budget and little time. And I must admit, it was one of the best weddings I've been to. So...now it leads me to believe that some weddings are really overated and they're for show. I know of people who paid thousands of dollars for weddings and are in debt the day after. Not that I have a problem with huge weddings because if you can afford it, than go for it. But I realized that a wedding is not about who's in it, how many people you invite, the menu, the venue....if two people truly love one another and want to be joined in holy matrimony, it really doesn't matter the formalities involved, all that matters is that they become one.

During the ceremony, the preacher that officated the wedding was truly a blessing. I've never experienced a wedding put together the way he did. Not only was I blessed by what he shared but I was schooled. The man broke down the institution of marriage in God's eyes and related it to the way the world sees it. He broke down the roles of the wife and the husband and it was awesome. Everyone at the wedding couldn't stop talking about how much they were inspired.

So, what I took from my girl Smoots wedding was, when 2 people are ready to become one, it doesn't matter who, what, when or where....they need to make it happen. If you don't have the support from the people you thought would be there, rest assure that God will direct you to that person who will be right by your side(I was so honored Smoot). Seek counseling prior to the marriage because it will help you get a clearer picture of what God expects. Don't get caught up in the pressure of "people pleasing" have the wedding that you want & can afford. And most of all.....get your marriage license in enough time for the ink to dry before the ceremony(inside joke....Smoot & David, I love u guys).

That Infamous "F" Word...what does it really mean?

Throughout my life, I've had to ponder over the word friendship and what does it really mean. I consider myself a good friend...not the best all the time but overall, I think I'm a great friend. I realize that in order to gain good friends, you have to be one yourself and that's something I work on daily. I know that true friendships will experience good & bad times but if its true indeed, it will stand the test of time.
Every now and then, I'm brought to question friendships, both old & new. I have a circle of friends who are like a second family to me. Some of them I've known almost all my life and some that I've just become friends with in the last 5 years of my life. But no matter the duration, when I say that someone is my friend, I mean it. Recently, I've been challenged with that "F" word once again and it has lead me to question, what is friendship?
According to Wikipedia, friendship is, "a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behaviour between two or more humans; connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. It also states, "their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:the tendency to desire what is best for the other; sympathy and empathy; honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth and mutual understanding.
From the definition, I clearly understand what the "F" word is and I do believe that my friends and I share in all of these things. But a recent experience with a friend has lead me to once again question the "F" word. So I ask, what do I do now? Do I confront this person about what I'm feeling; do I act as if she doesn't exist anymore; do I smile in her face as if nothing has happened...I don't know what to do cause once again, this person has lead me to question the "F" word once again. My question to myself is...what lengths am I willing to go to salvage a friendship and for that matter, is it really worth it? So that infamous "F" word, once again has resurfaced in my mind...an unfortunate experience with a person who I consider a good friend has caused me to question the meaning. So, to all my friends who truly love me, has my back through thick & thin(even when I'm difficult to deal with), celebrates all my acccomplishments & listens & crys with me through all my adversity, who uplifts me when I'm down, who doesn't envy me, who checks on me when I'm sick, who will fight my battles if anyone comes against me, who will put someone in their place if they speak a bad word about me, who prays for me & my family....thanks for showing me what the "F" word really means. I LOVE U GUYS!!!! For anyone who's reading this & smiling, then you know the true meaning of the "F" word...don't ever be the reason for someone who calls you a friend to question the true meaning of friendship...your actions should prove to them that no matter what...you know & understand the true meaning of the "F" word.

"Taking One Day At a Time"

Oh my goodness, where has the time gone. It just seems like yesterday when I brought in the year 2007 and we're already into February(shortest month of the year). I'm dealing with the question, "What do I do next?" Lately I've been consumed in my thoughts as it pertains to my life. I have so many things that I want to do but I don't know where to start. I constantly question myself as to what's most important but I can't seem to figure it out. I would like to go back to school but, do I really need too is the question? I would like to buy a new house but, is that really necessary at this time? I would like to start a family but, is this the right time? I want a new job but, should I stay put until I figure out what I really want to do? I want to start my own business but, which business do I chose to invest my time? I want to write a book but, which subject matter should I start with? I want to move out of the state but, is this something I will regret later? So many "what if's" and as the days pass, it seems like I'm running out of time. I've been so worn down the past few weeks and I keep asking myself am I stressed, overwhelmed, or am I just too deep in my thoughts(like I always am)? So today I've decided to just write everything down and sort out which direction I plan to take. It always seems like time is getting away from me, so as soon as I learn to take one day at a time and deal with each issue at one time, I think I'll be able to figure out what I want to do. Being the over-achiever that I am, I wear my own self out at times. This is one of those times where I'm sick of myself(lol). I see other people just coasting through life and they seem to be content with their life and I wonder, why am I never satisfied? My mom told me as a child I would always run and I stayed busy. My friends today tell me that I'm a busy-body so I guess that will never change. A good friend of mine told me not to look at my situation in a negative way but look at it as a positive thing. My indecisiveness over the years has allowed me to make very good decisions with my life. I think that most of my goals I've set for myself, I've already accomplished those so now its time to keep moving. So, all of those things that I question, I know I'm going to accomplish them all but my plan is to take take one day at a time...yep, that's what I'll do.