All Over the Place...that's me

I have so much going on right now...I don't know whether I'm coming or going. Although I love to stay busy, I just feel like I'm all over the place. I'm dealing with all kinds of things...projects at the house, side hustles that I'm trying to make happen, pressure on the full-time, relationship issues, family matters...I'm drained. I need sometime to sit down and sort out all of the things I have going on...I also need to prioritize, find out what's most important for me and my life at this time. I know there are things that can be put on hold, but I'm impatient and once I have in my mind that I'm going to make something happen, that's what I set out to do.

Currently, my kitchen is being remodeled. What started as a small leak from my refrigerator, has turned in to me deciding to remodel my kitchen. Its something that I've been wanting to do for some time and I know it will bring the value of my house up so its not a bad thing...just very time consuming & draining(I hate seeing my house a wreck). The project should be done by Friday...now all I can stress about is how I'm going to find time to get my house back in order...uugh.

Me and main man have been struggling for the past 2 weeks. This relationship stuff can be draining as well. I love him so much...am I willing to fight for this relationship...this week, I don't have the energy. We both are trying to accommodate one another's wants, respect each others space, try to understand one anothers differences and still be in love...its so hard. I know how challenging a relationship can be and I'm not the easiest person to be in a relationship with but I swear I've been trying...I've been working for this thing. He's happy with me, he doesn't want me to change, but I feel that I have to, just to be more comfortable so...I know we'll make it, I believe we will...I just have to go through the motions.

Work...I love my job, it can be so challenging at times(that's what I love), but its so hard working for & around people who can't get used to the fact that I'm just as smart as they are and I deserve to be recognized for my talents. The higher I climb this ladder, the more I see that being on top isn't always the best. But again, I love my job...alot of changes will be made in the next few months so I'm sure things will get better. I grateful for being so young and doing so well...so I'm not complaining, I'm just venting.

Side hustles..hair, cakes, event planning...my plate is so full. I'm still doing hair on the weekends, now cake orders are coming in...I love the hustle but my time is dwindling. I still enjoy doing hair and baking cakes is so therapeutic...I don't want to get to the point where I feel like I have to bake cakes, I want to do it because I love too. The event planning is going well...my Aunt & Uncles 50-year wedding renewal is going well. The time is fast approaching so right now I feel like its all coming together...all these side hustles, I'm doing what I love, getting some $$ at the same time...but it can also be draining...but I'm keeping it moving.

Family matters...oh gosh...they are what they are. So much has been going on. All I'm doing is praying and remaining still. I'm learning to not react everytime something happens and realizing that I'm not Superwoman. I hate it when I can't do something to make a situation better, but that's life. Everyone can't be on top...we all have to struggle and go through things...it only makes us stronger.

So, even though I'm all over the place, I know that God is going to see me through and it will all work out. I know that I'm finding myself praying more these days and I thank God for always bringing me peace...I may be all over the place but I know for sure that I'm going to be ok.