Confession...I'm Afraid




I've been dealing with so many emotions the last few days and one of the things that I'm really trying to come to grips with is...being a parent. Now that Nina is here, I feel so overwhelmed. Not because she's a preemie but just the thought of being a good parent to her frightens me. I normally don't second guess myself but for some strange reason, I'm afraid that I'm not going to do well. I'm good under pressure and I do some of my best work when my back is against the wall but lately, I've been dealing with the fear of not doing a good job as a mother. I know I love her and I know that I have so much love to give her but I know that's not enough. I've always only had to think about myself, now I have Nina to think about. Before she came, I never worried about money, now all I can think about is if I'm going to have enough money to support her. I never worried about time and now it seems like there's not enough hours in the day to do what I need to do and be there for her. Its just crazy. I'm not sure if all new mothers go through this but I feel so embarrassed about this whole ordeal. I shouldn't be afraid...but I am. I know that God would have never blessed me with a child if he didn't think I was capable...but I have to confess, becoming a parent is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.