Emotions...

I had planned to post something last week but I was an emotional wreck along with not having much time to do anything. My baby girl started daycare/pre-school last week. Tuesday was her first day and I was excited yet very nervous about the whole transition. I love the school...the staff seems very loving and I love the fact that she will be learning something daily. So...my Ganny takes her to a 2 hour orientation last Friday...the purpose was to drop her off, let her play and let her become familiar with the place she will spending a lot of time. She did well but my grandmother did not. She isn't ready to part with Nina(she's had her since she was six months)but she knows its time for her to interact with other kids daily. Tuesday, her dad & I took her and she didnt cry but she looked very sad...I left that building crying like someone crazy. I planned a variety of things to do so I wouldn't go back and get her. Her teacher said she did well.

The kicker was Tuesday when I dropped her off by myself....she cried, I mean...my baby girl cried so hard. I didn't want to leave her but I had too. Needless to say, I cried from the daycare all the way to DC. I know people on the highway were starring at me like, WTF, but I don't care. My grandmother picked her up that evening and they said she did ok except for naptime. So Wednesday, I took her to school early and she performed...I could hear her crying on my way to the lobby...my heart dropped and I cried again all the way to DC. The people in my office were looking at me all crazy. I mean my eyes were puffy...I wanted to just hire a nanny so she wouldn't have to go to school. All my friends with kids told me that its just a process. I hate to see her upset and I didn't want her to have to go through this but...I know its just a moment.

She ended up finishing out the week on Thursday because she got sick. She started running a fever and we kept her home on Friday. Yesterday, we took her to school and she cried again but not as hard as last week. Her teacher said she did very well and I was so happy to see her playing and interacting when we picked her up yesterday. Her Daddy took her today and he said she cried but not as hard as yesterday so...I got my fingers crossed.

I love being a mommy but its the hardest thing I've had to do. Always having someone to worry about is what breaks me down. But I love my baby girl and I will do anything to make her life better. School is where she needs to be...I want her to excel in everything and I want to provide the best for her. One of my main reasons for living and working as hard as I do is to ensure that I can provide whatever she needs and want. My mother didn't have it so good raising us by herself so I want to be sure Nina never has to go without.

This week I'm doing better. Much prayer, the support from my family & friends always makes things better.