ME, MYSELF & I

I can honestly say that this weekend I got a chance to get in touch with myself. I wasn't in any particular mood or anything, I just felt like I needed some "me" time. It did help that I wasn't really feeling main man this weekend so I didn't have to worry about him being in my space too much. On Friday, the plan was to get together with some friends for a drink, but as soon as I got home, I immediately got out of my work clothes and in the bed. I looked at TV, talked on the phone, slept, read a magazine...slept....it was so refreshing. I don't get many Friday's where I can just come home & rest.

Saturday morning started the same. Up very early to take clients and I finished around 2pm. I thought of a thousand things I could've done but instead, I decided to put on some of my favorite cd's, put on my apron and I started baking a cake and cooking spaghetti. Cooking is very therapeutic for me so...I did that, then I decided to run me a lavender bath, lit some candles, put my ipod in the docking station, and sat back in the tub and just chilled. I than put on some cute pajamas and I was in the bed by 7:30. I could not believe I was allowing myself to just chill when there's so many other things I could've been doing. I laid in the bed, talked on the phone, watched a few shows on my new tv, read & finally went to sleep around 11:00pm.

Sunday morning, I overslept for church so I called my girl Tiny and asked did she want to go to brunch, she needed to get out of the house for some "girlfriend time" so she said yes. Then we called Tarita & Nellie and the 4 of us met for brunch. It was so nice to just get together with my girls and share a few mimosas, good food and great conversation. Its always nice to get together with the girls...we need to do that more often. After brunch, me & Nellie(my favorite "shopping" girlfriend) and I went to to Marshalls. We didn't do too much damage, but we had fun browsing and the both of us left out the store with some nice pillows(lol)....that's it.

So...the weekend was very chill, I absolutely needed it, loved it and plan to do that more often. Sometimes I can just get overwhelmed over all the things that I have on my plate that I just keep moving and never take time to just chill out. After this weekend, I know I will be chilling more often.

My Body is Thanking Me...

Yesterday, I returned to the gym after not going for about 6 weeks. Going to the gym was just a part of my lifestyle....2-3 days a week I was in the gym doing cardio and some type of yoga/pilates or tai chi. I fell off the week prior to my vacation. I was so busy with packing, getting my hair done, trying to get my workload down so I could enjoy my vacation with no worries. Once I came back, the holidays were beginning therefore, I was cooking, shopping and doing everything else except for going to the gym. Then, Christmas came around and I was eating whenever & whatever I wanted, just because it was the holiday and cause I wanted too. Every week I was telling myself that I was going to start back working out again, but I was getting real comfortable coming home doing absolutely nothing so needless to say, I never made it. What's good about me is that I eat healthy...not because I make myself, but because I love healthy foods. Fruits, vegetables & whole grain products is just a part of my life...I love it.

So, yesterday, I made up my mind to return back to the gym. All day I was so excited just thinking about it so I couldn't wait to get there and workout. When I got there, the gym was packed(everyone trying to lose weight for the new year) but it was nice to see some of the people I was used to seeing back when I was going on a regular. My BodyFLow instructor was shocked to see me...she was wondering what had happened but I explained to her what was going on in the last 6 or more weeks and she understood. So, I did some cardio, took a class and now I'm feeling real good. My body isn't aching too bad but I know that once I pick up the pace a little it will.

Working out for me is so refreshing...my body really appreciates it. I sleep better, I feel better and overall I look better. I know my body is thanking me right now...I can't wait to hit the gym tonight...its on!!!!!

What a difference a conversation makes.......

I have a alot of male friends who I can talk to about anything. I love talking to them because it gives me another perspective on how to look at a situation. But one of my male friends & I have been at a tug-of-war for the last week or more about a few things. We haven't really talked in a minute(mostly because we're both so busy), but the last time we spoke, we had a disagreement about something so of course I was taking his lack of 'trying to contact me' personal. So yesterday, I decided to call him to say hello. After leaving a few messages & emails, he finally responded and I explained to him that we needed to talk. Later that evening, he finally called and we had a very deep conversation. The conversation was a long overdue one that I must say I'm glad took place.

In the beginning, I found myself being very defensive but with time, I began to hear that person out and really listen to what he had to say. The convo went on like a tennis match for the first 15 minutes(that blew me) but after we both realized that neither of us were really listening to the other....we began to talk about what the issues were and within 20 minutes, I realized we were getting somewhere. My friend & I are so-oooo much alike when it comes to certain things(especially debates) and I've found that neither of us gives up until we get our point across. We've been friends for sometime now and we both have alot of similarities in the way we handle business so I can always count on him to bounce ideas & things off of when it comes to certain business & personal matters. But, when we disagree....whoa...its like a damn severe storm...the dark cloud sits over our friendship until we work it out and that sometimes annoys me. But that's what happens with friends; we can't always agree and we may not always see things the same.

So, we both realized that it was a big misunderstanding on both of our behalf...of course I was a little extra because I'm emotional(and that's what females do) but he assured me that our friendship is still as tight as the day we met, and that just because we don't agree on issues doesn't mean that out friendship is doomed and that even though we're the opposite sex, when you care about someone, their feelings do matter. So with that said, we're cool again...I really missed talking to him cause he's just one of those friends that makes me laugh in the midst of craziness, always encourages me when it comes to my success and all the things I want to do when I grow up(lol) and he's not a push-over(he lets me know when I'm wrong or gotten out of hand). So I guess we all need a friend like that and I realized that instead of reacting & brushing things under the rug, if you just talk it out....and that person is sincerely a good friend.....u should do everything in your power to work it out.

The New Year is here...it seems like I was just celebrating 2007...that means that the year has gone by so fast. I can't really say anything bad about 2007 except that it was a fast year...alot of things happened(both good & bad) but it just seems that it went by so fast. I let go of alot of things & people in 2007 and I know it was all for the best. I don't have any regrets about any decisions that I've made. I don't really make resolutions anymore...I find that I break them soon after I make them so...I just write things down and mentally prepare myself for whatever it is that I want to do, change or make happen.

With that said, I plan to coast in 2008. Live each day like its my last & do what makes me happy. I have a few things that I know that I need to make happen(become better organized, not shop as much cause I really have everything, not let little things get me frazzled, set new goals, decide what I really want to do career wise....) so I plan to concentrate on those things. I'm still on the fence about purchasing a new home....I still think I'm ready to build but I'm just not sure if its a good time(I'm so tight with money); I want to buy my X5...I'm almost sure this is going to happen real soon(I deserve it, just don't want the note); I think I'm ready to have a child(this changes every other week...not sure if I'm ready, if its the right time....); I want a new job(I normally become bored after about 2-3 years in a position)...so many things that I'm "all over the place" with but I'm sure that I'll be able to make some concrete decisions soon.

The holidays were GREAT!!! The family was back together having the time of our life. We spent Thanksgiving, Xmas Eve & Xmas together. Last year was a rough year for us, but God brought us all back together again and I'm so glad he did. Me & main man's relationship has grown stronger...still got some kinks to work out but this year was definitely alot better than last year. All my girls are still my girls....we still are growing together emotionally, spiritually & just proving that black woman can be friends without all the drama. All our lives are so busy but we still got that bond that can't be broken.

Here's to the New Year 2008...looking forward to seeing what it has in store.

Wow...time sure does fly

I'm sitting here looking at my calendar and thinking, dag, December is almost over. This month has gone by so fast...it seems like I was just on vacation and that was over a month ago...wow. Well, December is here, the holidays are coming around and I must say that I'm finally getting in the spirit. I put my tree up last week and its beautiful. Mom came over and helped me decorate(she loves doing that). I didn't decorate as much as I normally do but the house still feels like Xmas. I got some shopping done, not much but I don't intend to do alot this year anyway. Me & my girl Nellie did some shopping last week(we picked up some things for ourselves too) and main man & I have been picking up a few things too. My sister & I hung out on Sunday and we picked up some gifts...I love my sister we had so much fun. We've always been close but it seems like the older we get, the closer we get. Today, I plan to go hit some stores to pick up a few things...I love giving gifts.
Last night, I started wrapping gifts so I feel like I'm moving right along. This is a short work week and than I'll be off for a few days. I'll get to enjoy the holidays and get some rest at the same time.

Today, I'm feeling good. So much better from the other day(what a difference a few days make).

Heavy....that's how I feel

Today is just one of those days...I'm feeling really heavy...like I'm carrying the world on my shoulders. I woke up this morning feeling "not so good" but I kept it moving and came on in to work. On my way to work, I stared out the window and began to think about all the things that are bothering me...it was kinda hard not to...just listening to my Ipod, its 5:30am, everyone on the bus is either sleeping, reading or doing what I'm doing(staring out the window thinking). Life can be so complicated at times...but I don't take living for granted....I'm blessed, it just happens to be one of those days.

I'm dealing with a variety of issues & matters, I've been just too busy to slow down and give those things some attention, but for some apparent reason, today is the day I decided to try to find some resolutions. So, I'm at work, its been a slow day, nothing really pressing and all I have is this time to think(I hate that about myself). I'm making conclusions to matters that I haven't even really dealt with, somethings I just want to be over. Then there are things that I need to happen in my life that just isn't happening...I need instant results, but I'm just not getting them. I know that I'm an impatient person and when I want something, I want it yesterday but I'm working on being patient(very hard for me).

I'm also dealing with how to deal with my emotions when it comes to certain matters. I'm a very emotional person, alot of people haven't seen this side but I'm overly emotional at times(and I hate it). I'm either over the top, crying, screaming...or to myself, quiet & withdrawn. So I'm working on trying to find a balance with my emotions. I'm also having trust issues. I find it so hard to put my trust in people, it seems that I get let down alot. I know that my expectations of others makes it that much harder for me to open up and relax, I'm working on this thing....I don't even trust myself sometimes(geeze).

I'm just heavy...there's so much going on that I need to address & handle...I've been so busy putting things aside until I found time to deal...I guess this is God's way of bringing things to light....I need to get ready to address & deal with these matters right now...but I don't feel like it but, I know I can't let them weigh me down any longer.

So Much to Be Thankful For....

Last week was Thanksgiving...and of course I was too busy to write what I was thankful for..but its never too late...I'm so thankful for so many things.
I'm thankful for life...for God granting me the opportunity to make it through this crazy world without cracking up. With all the horrible things going on in the world, I'm still so grateful for being in the land of the living.

I'm thankful for family...because without them I would be nothing. Family can be your best friends or your worst enemies but everyone who I consider family knows that they're everything to me and because of them...I am who I am.

I'm thankful for my friends, they know who they are. I love u guys...u r my extended family that I can truly say that you all compliment my life...you're always there for me for the good, bad, sad & chaotic times in my life. I don't know what life would be without u ladies...if I haven't ever said it before...I luv all of u guys...you're the best!!!

I'm thankful for Main Man...he has made such a difference in my life...I understand that 4-letter word foreal(lol). I'm thankful for his patience, criticism, companionship & most of all, his love for me. He's the best!!!

I'm thankful for having the activity of all my limbs, being healthy, all of my senses, common sense, high self-esteem, compassion, guts(u know people try to get over if they can), creativity(I'm always up to something)...I have so much to be thankful for...and even when things don't look positive, I'm still thankful.

My Wonderful Vacation-The ATLANTIS

I finally went on my vacation that I've been anxiously waiting to take..to The Atlantis(The Cove) in Paradise Island in Nassau, Bahamas. I had so much fun...it was wonderful. I flew First Class for the first time and I must say I'm totally hooked. Although its expensive, I think that it will be the only way I'll fly if I'm going out of the country. The weather was absolutely beautiful It wasn't real hot but it wasn't cold either(somewhere in the 80's). It was refreshing to get a chance to wear flip-flops & sundresses one more time. The hotel (The Cove) was picture perfect. The pictures/Internet didn't do the hotel any justice, it was simply beautiful. Our suite had a beautiful view of the island...we could see the pools, the other hotels, bridges, etc...breathtaking. Main man and I had the best time...shopping, swimming, drinking, gambling(yes, I won too) and eating(the food was incredible). We went into the city and shopped(the prices at Gucci, Fendi, Cartier etc were the best), we went to the Straw Market (the prices for souvenirs on the resort were too expensive). We did so much in those 4 days...it was a vacation that I will never forget.

The funniest part of the vacation is that everyone thought I was Bahamian. I was asked all day where I was from because I was told that I looked like I was from the islands(lol). What was ironic was that I found out that Davis is a Bahamian name. I was told that the Davis's have alot of land in the Bahamas so I think I need to trace my family background so I can see if I have some cousins that I can link up with(lol). The people were so friendly and I learned that that's just Bahamian culture(we need to adopt that culture here in the US).

The food...I've never ate that well ever...Main man and I dined in the finest restaurant every night...I'm talking gourmet, fine cuisine...we were doing it. The food was so fresh and so-ooo good.

We did so much in the time that we were there, and just spending time with one another was good. The both of us lead very busy lifestyles so this vacation was right on time.

to be continued........(with pictures)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!

Yesterday was my birthday...I still can't believe that I'm 36 years old...but I don't look a day over 26(lol). But yesterday was a great day. It started with me receiving all kinds of messages, emails, cards, etc...from friends & family(even people I haven't heard from in years). Its always nice to know that people care about me and that they remember my birthday. My sister & mom took me out last for dinner and that was really good...we hardly ever get a chance to spend time together(just the 3 of us) with all of us being so busy with work, school & our personal lives...so that was a highlight of my birthday. Main man came through with my favorite flowers(calla lilies) and some really nice birthday cards...it was just a nice, chill day. I had a few lunch invites but I decided to walk to the bookstore to pick up a few books and I just grabbed something to eat....for some reason I wanted to spend time with myself...and that's always good.

The older I get, I find more inner piece...its something I can't explain. I love being in the company of family & friends but I find that I love spending time with myself...I love me(lol). I'm so blessed...I know it...I feel it...and I thank God for it. I'm at a point in my life where I can finally pat myself on the back...I've accomplished so much in these 36 years and there's still so much to do. Everyday I'm processing life...trying to find ways to keep smiling, to stay focused and to become a better person.

I'm so grateful that God has granted me another year...that means he has more work for me to do, more lives for me to impact, more time to self-improve, more trips to take, more laughs with the girls, more time with family & most of all, more time for ME!!!!

My birthday was wonderful...it was day to celebrate me and I did just that. This Sunday, I'll be off to the Bahamas for vacation...more celebrating. I'm looking forward to having fun but overall, I need some rest & relaxation. I've been rippin' & runnin' for a minute and I need to gather my thoughts and kick back. This trip is an additional birthday gift...and I can't wait.

Just Writing....

Well...I have so much going on right now, nothing serious...just being the busy lady that I am. I have 11 more days until I leave for my vacation to the Bahamas. I'm so excited about being on the beach and chilling at the Atlantis. This will also be my first time flying First Class so I'm looking forward to it. Main man & I were out on Monday trying to take care of some last minute things for the trip like getting our license renewed, putting clothes in the cleaners, him getting pants tailored, etc...we're ready...we need this vacation.

I decided that I'm going to wait on building a new house. I was excited about getting it, but I gave it some thought and I'm living very comfortably right now and I don't need a higher mortgage note right now, plus, my house is more than enough for me right now. So, I decided to get my kitchen done over and some other small things just to satisfy my need for change(lol). I'm also considering getting my BMW X5 or my Lexus GS300...not sure yet...

I've been doing alot of baking, my cakes are a hit right now. Everyone that I've made so far has got rave reviews and I'm receiving requests for cake orders already. Now that I'm in the "cake making business" everytime I taste a cake, I'm comparing it to mine(lol)...and I must say I do my thing when it comes to baking cakes.

My birthday is next week...I don't have any concrete plans. Just being able to see another year is fine with me. Maybe the girls & I may get together for something to eat(we love to eat) and some laughs...that's about it and actually, that's perfect.

Life is cool right now...still on my grind, trying to be successful, trying to be a better person,trying to grow closer to God....

I want to go shopping...its that time of year for some new fly boots and some cute sweaters. I guess I'll wait until I get back from vacation. I'm addicted to shopping on-line(something I thought I would never do), I love it.

It's a time for everything

My father called me the other day...he was talking to me like he's been in my life forever...needless to say, he hasn't really been in my life foreal. I've known him all my life, he's done a few things for me while growing up, but was he really a Daddy...nah, he really wasn't. All my life, I always felt like I was a Daddy's girl...but only if I had one. I always longed for a relationship with him, to be able to call him and tell him about the knucklehead men I've dealt with, to try and get some advice on growing up, someone to teach me what to expect from a man...just simple things(at least I think so). But needless to say, he never stepped up to do the little things, so the big things(like helping me select my first car, showing me how change oil or a flat tire, giving me some advice on purchasing my first home...) I never even thought about asking him about.

He showed up for my high school graduation, called when I made big accomplishments in my life(after hearing it from someone else), and oh yeah, when I got in a terrible car accident & almost died back in 1989...he called to Shock Trauma and acted a fool with the doctors cause he wanted to know how his child was...WOW!!! So again, my father has been in & out of my life for all of my 35 years...and at times he's goes missing in action for a few years but lately, he's been reaching out for a relationship. What do I do now?

He's sick right now, I hear that he's sicker than he's letting on but let him tell it, he's just fine so...I go with his story. Now he wants to talk, spend time, take family pictures and finally come to see the house that I purchased all by myself...without a Daddy to lead me and pat me on the back and say, "you're doing good." I thought I would be bitter with him, but in actuality, I feel sorry for him. He missed out on alot...he has so much catching up to do...I don't know if he'll have time. I wish he wouldn't have let so much time get away from us...now we have to deal with the awkwardness when we're around one another, the silence over the phone when there's nothing else to talk about...hmn...

He knows nothing about me...meaning the little things like, my favorite color, my favorite food, my majors in college, what makes me happy, what makes me sad and I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't know my birthday...this is deep. So, I say this today...I love my father, I don't know if he loves me....he says he does...I guess I believe him...he's trying, so I'm not going to knock him over the head for all the times he made me promises that he never kept, or allowing my mother to raise me by herself or letting me learn about men the hard way...nah, I'm not mad...I just feel sorry for him. But a little of me is excited about possibly being able to sit down with this man and tell him all about his oldest daughter...the one who always wished to be a Daddy's girl...

Baker, Hairdresser & Nurse..what a weekend.

This weekend was a busy yet chill weekend. It started with me baking 3 cakes for 3 different people's birthday(Tamia, Chris & Ganny). I also did my usual...hair for most of Saturday. I impressed myself with my multi-tasking skills...I was working it out.

Main man was sick all weekend. I still don't know if he's trying to get the flu or if he's just dealing with what everyone else is complaining about...just not feeling well due to this inconsistent weather...anyhoo...I had to go into nurse mode for main man. It must be love...he had me up late Saturday night making homemade chicken & rice soup. That's what he wanted, so I was up boiling chicken, cutting up carrots, celery onions...pulling out the seasons & bouillon and even made some biscuits(not from scratch). He needed extra attention this weekend...taking his temperature, hugs, getting orange juice, hugs, rubbing his back, hugs....I was extra busy...lol.

Sunday, was my Ganny's birthday. The family got together for dinner at her house and it turned out pretty nice. Like with every family...mine has been dealing with drama for the last year so all Ganny wanted was her family together in one happy setting...and that's what she got. I'm happy that things turned out the way it did.

Monday, main man & I slept in late...I ran some errands and then we went to see the movie, "Why Did I get Married" all I can say is Tyler Perry did it this time. Extra, extra shout-outs to my man Tyler Perry for putting together such a wonderful movie...definitely a great conversation piece.

So the weekend was cool....can't wait for vacation to get here...26 days to go....Atlantis...here I come.

Watch Out Betty Crocker...

On Monday, I took my first Cake Decorating class. I am so excited about this class because I love to bake cakes and lately everyone has been requesting a cake from me so...I thought...why not take a class, learn how to decorate and get a side business going(yes I'm a Jamaican). Baking the cakes are easy(and yes all my cakes tastes good), but I wanted to feel more comfortable about decorating, especially when I'm making cakes for other people.

I've been looking into these classes for sometime now and I thought I would never find the time but I made up my mind and I went for it. So...on last Monday, I was taking my first Wilton cake decorating class and I'm anxious about returning next week. I learned how to make flowers, animals and a variety of different decorations with icing. So with all the birthdays & holidays coming, I know I'm going to be very busy. Now, all I need is a cute name for my business. Watch out Betty Crocker!!!!

THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY-TGIF!!!!!

I can truly say that I'm so happy to see Friday finally arrive. This week has been a full one for me. The beginning of the week I had training therefore, I didn't get home until after 6pm. Then I return to work this week to find out that my unit is not moving(I was so looking forward to moving to a new office) and I've been working non-stop since I returned to work on Thursday. I've also been struggling with headaches since last week. My doctor seems to think I'm having migraines but I don't know what's really going on.

I'm looking forward to my long weekend. Tomorrow I plan to clean my house, wash clothes and do some shopping for some drapes. I also start my cake decorating class on Monday so I'm so looking forward to it. Other than that, I'm just glad today is Friday....I'm blessed, I'm happy, I'm tired....

What u Won't Do....4 Love...WOW!!!

How is it that not even 24 hours ago, main man and I are at one another's throat, fussing, not agreeing on anything, pointing the finger and contemplating whether we want to continue this relationship....and now we're just talking, agreeing & loving one another(lol). Its funny how he can just piss me off to know end and I can picture my life without him, being single again, running foot loose & free and then I think of all the work I put into this union and all the wonderful things he does for me and how he's done a 320(not quite 360)in the time that we've met and all I can do is just push harder to make peace between us.

There was a time in my life when I would just let go, just so I wouldn't have to deal with the bulls*it that comes with relationships...but I know that nothing and nobody is perfect(not even little ole' me) and with maturity, I've learned that if I continue to give up...I will never learn the lesson in the battle, and if I continue to say f*ck it I might never find the love that I desire, and if I continue to act like nothing bothers me(as it pertains to relationships) how will my mate ever know that I really do care for him and that the relationship means something to me...so as I sit here and think about what main man & I were arguing over yesterday and I ask myself..."Was it really that serious?" I'm glad that I'm a soldier in this game called love...I'm willing to fight for it, and I'm even willing to say "I'm wrong" or "I apologize" even when I don't want too.

So, I say this with a smile on my face & love in my heart for main man...he puts up with me...whew....I'm not the easiest person to deal with, especially when it comes to relationships but I guess if its love...and u know its love...there's nothing you wouldn't or shouldn't do for it!!!!

Today started off wrong...I mean, I didn't feel like getting up to go to work, but when the alarm went off at 4am...I just kept it moving. After pulling off, I realized I didn't have my badge, so I turn around and go back home...and I couldn't find it. Once I got back in my car, I saw it tucked down deep in my side pocket of my purse. I got to the stop late, went to sleep on the bus and once I got off to walk in my building....my badge was gone...I had lost it. I had to use my creds to get a temporary badge that didn't work once I got to my office(it gets better) so I had to get my supervisor to come and let me in and I had to borrow his mailbox key to lock up my phones....rough morning. Overall, I contacted the bus company and they found my badge on the bus...whew....

Anyway, the weekend was cool. Had my cookout on Saturday and it turned out to be alot of fun once again. It wasn't packed as last year(thank god) so the crowd was a chill bunch. We sat around, ate, drank & had some interesting conversation. The weather wasn't too hot so everyone was comfortably chilling.

On Sunday, I slept in until noon...cleaned up and took another nap. Main man & I went to get something to eat(I refused to cook) at Panera and came home & watched a movie until I fell asleep. So...the weekend was cool....but now I'm tired as hell...hopefully my day will get better...

LABOR DAY WEEKEND @ DEEP CREEK LAKE

Over the weekend, a group of friends(some of us meeting for the first time) went to Deep Creek Lake for the weekend. We had a wonderful time. Our 9 bedroom, 7.5 bathroom home was large enough for all of us. The house sat 25 ft from the lake, had an indoor pool, 2 hot tubs and a game room. We stayed 3 nights and none of us wanted to leave.

Some of the ladies on the main deck of the house.

Some of fellas chilling on the deck.

We all had a great time...shooting pool, cooking out, playing games & jet skiing.

The weekend was cool...a nice getaway was what we all needed....I'm sure we'll be doing it again real soon.

Today is one of those days where I feel like nobody understands me. I'm dealing with some heavy personal issues right now and I don't feel like I can express it to anyone...I just don't think anyone would understand. Its a long weekend for me, I'm going out of town and I should be excited...but everything else around me is distracting me from looking forward to this 3 day getaway.

Today, I want to just pack up my things, sell my house and move to another state. I think if I do that, I can escape some of the issues that I'm dealing with. Why don't people realize that I can't save everybody...sometimes I can't save my damn self. Its enough work dealing with myself and all my crap...but to deal with others crap is just too much sometimes.

People that I love are hurting & confused...I'm trying to help them to heal but in the process, I'm feeling down...I know I can't save the world but I hate to see people that I love hurt and/or do stupid things.

Today is just not a good day but I swear that I'm going to do everything to make it better. I'm challenging myself to come out of this funk by noon today.

"Everyday I'm Hustling.........."

Whoa...this weekend was one of those weekends when I agree with my girls when they call me the lil' Jamaican...I was on my grind this weekend. The kids go back to school this week and I was busy doing hair all weekend. I had a few hours to get myself together but for the most part I was hustling. Friday I didn't make it to work therefore I had the opportunity to get an early start. Saturday morning, I was up early gettin' it in and didn't finish until late that evening. Sunday morning, I was back at it again...getting all the kiddies done for the first day of school(I don't normally work on the Lord's day).
Although I was tired, I went to the movies with main man on Saturday. I don't understand why everything he picks to see at the movies has to be alot of shooting & killing(WTF). We went to D&B for some food & drinks afterwards. On Sunday, mom & Ganny came over for a bit, along with sister. Main man wanted dinner, so I hooked that up and then we went to TCBY for dessert(yep, we drove all the way to Columbia for frozen yogurt). He was supposed to hang out with the fellas but I guess he had second thoughts and wanted to chill with mama for the day(isn't that sweet).
So...the weekend was cool...very busy but its just one of those things. That's the story of my life...hustling & grinding...somebody's gotta do it.

"Faith....its something about that word"

On Sunday evening, main man had an emergency at his job that he had to handle and I end up riding with him why he handled the situation. While waiting in the lobby for him, I end up having a conversation with the concierge at the front desk. He was a foreigner and we began just chatting about things that were going on in the world and how God is sending signs to let the world know he's on his way back. Well...to make a long story short, he began telling me how he was raised a Muslim but heard the voice of God at a very young age. He kept this from his parents who were Muslims cause he knew they would condemn him. Late one night he responded to the voice by praying and giving God thanks and his mother overheard, who in turn told his father. His father chastised him and told him that he had heard that he had become a christian and he put him out of the house(he was only 13). This started years of doors being closed in his face and being homeless because his family had threatened anyone who took him in...but through it all, this young boy never denied his faith and what he believed in, he stood firm. Years later, he finally made it to this country through a missionary who brought his story to the State Department, and he ended up coming to this country. He struggled once he got here, not having any skills or speaking little English but people who saw the God in him and knew that he stood firm in his beliefs looked out for him and gave him opportunities that he would've never imagined.
Today, this grown man is doing well, God has sent him a wife who he's anxiously waiting to get to the US by the end of the year, he has 2 well paying jobs and most of all, he's still a soldier for the Lord...his belief is stronger than ever. He expressed to me that it was only God that helped him to make it through all the homelessness, the betrayal from his family, the threats from his country, the odd jobs that he had to take just to support himself & most of all, getting him here to the US....a true example of a person who remained faithful to God in spite of adversity.

This encounter with this man touched me so much...I was so glad to have had the opportunity to speak with him because it made me search deep within. I know that God is who he is and I know my faith has been tested on numerous occasions but, talking to this man made me realize that if he could go through all that he did and still be able to trust God...I know that when things get rough for me & I begin to wonder, "where are u God" if I just continue to pray, and not give up on him and just stand still...I know that I will hear from him and he will come through for me...he always does. Not that I ever doubted him..but just to hear a testimony such as this man's confirmed once again that God is who he said he is...and I'm so glad to be a child of his because I know that without him, I'm nothing. My faith is sometimes tested but I will NEVER stop trusting & believing in him...no matter what.